Im at strip club and am horny
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize