Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
