yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
