Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
