Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
i've created a new STD.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
