I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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