If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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