I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
