Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
