brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
