You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....