True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
39 Memes Anyone Who Cries When They See Their Bank Account Will Relate To
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"