It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
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