Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You pole danced in your parka.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
