took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
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I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize