I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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