honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
