Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
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I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
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We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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