More tranny stories later!
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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