Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
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Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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