Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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