my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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