I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
They have beer where we have blood.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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