It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
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you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
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Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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