so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
