i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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