Having a random hookup so left but love u
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize