I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
