as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
