not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
