bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
