She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
