Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
