The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize