I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
