What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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