sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
