Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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