My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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