why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
