I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
