I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
too bad you live with your parents still
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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