Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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