He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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