i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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