im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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