Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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