You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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