right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
