it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I stole a fireplace last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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