Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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