he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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