Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
you win again, gameday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize