Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
