I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
