I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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