I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
