i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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