it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
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I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
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Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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