so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I need moral support for this bender
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
