Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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